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Personal Kindness

Why are we more kind to other people than we are to ourselves?

When I first had this thought, it blew my mind. Why could I find a seemingly endless well of kindness for friends, family and others, but I could barely find any for myself? It was like a light bulb went off in my head.

A ha! So, that’s a piece of the emotional well-being pie I was missing.

A ha! How crafty and sneaky this way of life can be. This personal harshness had woven its tendrils into my every day life in ways that surprised me…and kind of made me mad. How dare this happen! How could I let this happen? (See – a perfect example of its sneakiness!) So, I would say to myself gently “be kind, be kind, be kind,” and try to feel the words. What happened inside – because I’ve learned that a feeling tells you more about yourself than the mind – was an opening up almost like the unfolding of a flower – that made me physically feel lighter, an opening up that was like a burning beacon of light.

At the end of the day, all I’m trying to do is a live a life that has meaning to me, that makes this beacon of light stay burning. And, paying attention to how my life feels vs. how my brain is rationalizing my life is a whole new way of living for me.

I want to feel kindness toward myself. I need to feel kindness toward myself. This is the only life that I know of – why spend this precious time being unkind to me?

Posted by Missy Baker, a long-time student of Elesa Commerse.
To contact Missy, email 

Posted Sept. 8, 2012


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