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You Are Not Alone

One idea or theme often expressed in cultures that encourage meditation is the concept that everyone, regardless of skin color, birthplace, or religious background, is considered a brother or sister. That being human, in and of itself, binds us to one another. Therefore, loving everyone (maybe not liking) is a natural, healthy way of being.

But, man, does that sound like a bunch of feel-good, idealistic, unattainable wackiness. It’s something that, at my deepest core, I’d like to believe, I’d like to promote, I’d like to be a part of, but practically everything in our Western culture bucks against this idea. I think back to my teenage years and how I was purposefully full of angst. It was cool to be pouty, unsmiling, and in a constant state of disdain.

What I didn’t realize then was that this purposeful disdain resulted in a “woe is me” place of loneliness where I believed that no one else’s brain worked like mine, for example: making up stories about what people thought of me, or imaging 12 different (mostly negative) outcomes to a particular situation, or simply just not being able to quiet my brain at night.

Looking back, I assumed this “place” was my fate. It’s just the way things were. But, something way down deep inside just couldn’t believe that, couldn’t buy into that. And I was right not to. Purposeful disdain may have a place in the teenage years, but it’s no place to plant your stake. The problem was, when I was no longer a teen, I didn’t know how to find a stake, let alone plant it somewhere.

And then I started meditating and taking classes from Elesa Commerse. This led to a ton of reading and personal exploration and, maybe most importantly, taking conscious responsibility for my life. And, as is very natural and comforting for me, I started talking with my friends and family about my experiences.

It’s here where I finally started to understand that I am not alone. I don’t have to be in a “woe is me place.”  Do you know why? Because practically everyone I talked to about my feelings and struggles felt the same way, regardless of gender, age, or ethnicity. Nearly everyone has a mind that may not be helpful at times, a mind that thinks thoughts that are scary, overwhelming, untrue, or just plain mean.  But, underneath these thoughts is the human spirit – something all of us have – a life force inside that defines us and is ignited and nourished by connecting with others. And, that’s the keystone that binds us all together.

You are not alone.

Posted by Missy Baker, a long-time student of Elesa Commerse.

To contact Missy, email 

Posted Oct. 7, 2012


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